you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
Randomize
