Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
do herpes really smell.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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