why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
