I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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