Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
Randomize
