He asked to "fluff my boner.."
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I can't put those talents on a resume
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Randomize
