your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
