apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
