dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize