The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
