Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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