i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Randomize
