So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
