I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Randomize