Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
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I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
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She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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