We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Randomize
