My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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