Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
