what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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