my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
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