Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
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