i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
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