at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I wish you could order shots online.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
