Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
