we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
Randomize