she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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