the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
i think my cat just said my name.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
