Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
