i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
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