belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
Randomize
