Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
