this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
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