i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
