I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
