If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
