I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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