just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Holy sore nipples Batman
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
