I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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