is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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