Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
