This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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