he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
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