if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
Randomize
