when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
