Well douche your snatch and let's go!
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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