bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
