he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize