I only kidnapped one of them. chill
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
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