Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
