I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
