Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
On Tinder, guy asked me if I had ever been fucked by a Pokemon master. Needless to say I didn't respond.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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