It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
