You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
