you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
