Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
