You're a womanizer and a bitch.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
I cut my penus on the lid.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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