It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
