I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
