she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
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yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
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