chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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