Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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