Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
