I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
