I can't watch pbs sober anymore
she smelled like a LAN party
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
Randomize
